I know I have been awful at updating my posts. I still haven't shown pictures of our Brad concert! I will get there eventually.

But really quick I thought I would post this. Saturday was a semi nice day- other then extreme winds. So we drove around, and eventually decided Eric was going to go to the hitting range to hit a bucket of balls. 

He did great, all the guys around him thought so too, since they kept making comments to him about his swing, and how far he could hit.

I sat on the grass behind him playing on my phone. As it gets warmer I could get used to that, laying out while Eric practices golf.

Maybe I could work this into a birthday present!

Many of you know that for the last few years I have been in constant pain. I have gone to every doctor out there, had test after test taken, and given every pill you can think of. All for nothing. No one could figure out what was causing the pain or how to make it stop. Recently a doctor believes that I have a problem with my nerves. They fire incorrectly, which causes me pain. So at any moment different things I touch can set my nerves off, causing me hours of pain.

The pain has been so bad that i have actually been stuck at the grocery store. I had to call Eric, have him finish the the shopping for me. I spent 2 hours in the Spanish Fork bathroom that day before the pain was tolerable enough that i could drive home. Because I never know when the pain is going to hit, i am extremely paranoid about going somewhere that is far from my house.

This last week, the pain has intensified. Usually the pain will last for about 2 hours, then fade to a dull ache. This last week though, it is a constant pain. I wasn't even able to lay on my stomach. Which has never been a problem before.

Ok so you get the point that its intense pain. So this past week, I started reading this book Bryndi gave me last year for Christmas. Its call To Him That Believeth. It is all about faith, and claiming blessings from Heaven. One of the stories in the book talked about a girl that had paralyzed her arm a few day before a big Television production her choir was participating in. She was the pianist. Her dad advised her to get a blessing, and visualize herself playing the piano the day of the recording. She did just that, and when it came for their turn to play, she was able to play her piece with no problems. What faith!

So yesterday I put this into practice. I had been healthy all day. Pain was at a dull ache level, so I was excited for a birthday dinner we had with our friends. 10 minutes before we were supposed to leave however my body had a different idea. I refuse to let my body control my life, so i started praying and thought this would be a great moment to exercise my faith. So i visualized myself at the restaurant with our friends, sitting at the table, enjoying their company, and my body not hurting. I told Eric that I was ready to go, and that by the time i got to the restaurant my body wouldn't hurt. It was a brutal car ride, but i just kept praying and seeing myself at the restaurant free of pain. By the time we got there, the pain had subsided into a dull ache. I was able to enjoy our dinner and our friends company.

I know that this was not a coincidence. I know beyond any doubt that my faith really did make me whole. If only for that moment. I have a new understanding of excercising your faith. Its the same as regular exercise, if I had to sprint to the corner for whatever reason, I could.  But if i wanted to sprint for a long distance, i would need to push myself. This experience was like that, i was able to sprint to the corner. But my end goal is to be able to sustain this level of faith for an extended time. Just like the first time you sprint further then you have better, seeing results on my exercising my faith is addictive. I want to continue to push on, to see if next time i can keep the pain at bay for an entire day. Little steps until i can have enough faith to be healed. That will be an amazing day.

So after the initial fluster of finding out that people thought I was pregnant wore off,  and I thought it about it more, I realized that most of you dont know whats going on. I have always been pretty open with the fact that I cant have kids. Most of you probably know that, but I'm sure some don't since I don't talk to all of you everyday.

When I as 16 my doctor told me I most likely wouldn't have kids, or it would be really hard. At 16, I thought I new everything, and these doctors were lying and just had to say that because their doctors. Every doctor after that always brought it up. You know like it was some type of fun fact. So I am now about to turn 25 and sadly the doctors haven't changed their tune. The best option I have is fertility treatments, and I dont know if any of you have used those, or know anything about it. But the biggest thing you need to know- is they are A LOT of money, and insurance companies dont cover it. It seems odd, that they would cover birth control and even pregnancies once you got pregnant, but not actually helping you get pregnant. Also, if you use fertility treatments and have a miscarriage the doctor bills or hospital visits that occur are also not paid for. Isn't that just lovely? :)

So when I say expensive, I'm not saying like a couple hundred dollars- I'm talking THOUSANDS of dollars that you have to pay the day of the appointment. So its not like cars, where I can buy a $15,000 car and make payments every month, nope I have to have that $15,000 the day of the appointment. Do you know anyone that just graduated from college that has that kind of money lying around?

So Eric and I are on the saving money route right now. The doctors told us that my treatment plan will cost AT LEAST $12,000. So we are saving saving saving, however we also have an MBA school to save for as well. So unless we stumble upon a treasure map that will lead us to a treasure chest full of gold, or we get a miracle we wont be having kids anytime soon.

I dont tell all of you this to feel bad or anything- like I said, I am really open about this. I wanted all my friends to know- I know there are some of you out there going through the same thing, and its nice to know your not a lone.

So that is the low down on me and my uterus.  Currently Vacant

Love ya,
Hillary

Since it is Sunday - it means that Eric watches sports on mute while I play the piano and sing. Today's theme was Musicals. I haven't sung them in awhile, so it started with Wicked, then went to Les Mis, and finally ended with Phantom of the Opera. At the end of this, I wanted to watch Phantom, so I checked Netflix, sadly nothing, so Eric checked to see if it would be coming on to TV. This was our converstaion:

Eric: Do you know what year Phantom came out?
Me: Um... I was in high school, it was while I was in Vocal Jazz, so like 2004?
Eric: That is a random way of remember it.
Me: Well I can remember discussing if we thought it was good and such
Eric: You  remember the strangest things.

Ok I know that was probaly really boring to you. But here is the part where my mind is BLOWN! Eric found the movie and said, its the one with Gerald Butler right? I was like.. um... I think I would remember Gerald Butler in the movie its not him. I of course went to IMDB and looked, and Gerald Butler is indeed in Phantom of the Opera... he is the Phantom!

He is hot and he sings!!! I love him even more!! My mind is blown. I cant believe it!

So today I got the last canvas to complete my set of 4. Aren't they beautiful? 

For Christmas my family got a new family computer (cough cough) Andrew got a new computer. :) I love him though. So because they already had 2 computers, that means Eric and I also got a new Computer. :) It got here this week, and i have LOVED playing on it! Its on our dining table, because well lets face it. We only have 2 chairs for the table so its not getting used. Perfect place where I can work and watch TV at the same time!

This week, we also got our first Snow Storm in Wisconsin. I must say I am rather upset, as what classifies as a Storm Warning. Today we are going to get 1-3 inches in 36 hours, and that is a storm warning. REALLY?! That is pathetic. Anywho. Its pretty to look at but not fun to be out in. It was only 1 degree this morning when Eric went to work. And yes, that is snow on our COVERED porch.

Lastly, we got Eric's Mission Book I made. As well as some canvas' I made too.  Eric's book is AMAZING. Its a 12x12 hardbound book. I think that is all we got this week- BUT it is also only Wednesday! So who knows what other great things lay in store for the rest of the week?

I dont know about any of you, but 2011 was a tough year, and I focused a lot on the things I couldn't do. When we moved to Wisconsin, I no longer could go to school, I couldn't go to Nordstrom. Yes, it is 3.5 hours away. :( I have a long list of things that I cant do. I dont know when I decided this, but I decided I am going to start focusing on the things I CAN do. So my theme for 2012 is I CAN. I have 3 New Years Resolutions and they all are things I CAN do.

1. Run A Marathon.

And not just ANY marathon- the Chicago Marathon. Why? Because I Can spend HOURS at the gym. My dad runs marathons- he and my mom ran the Chicago a few years ago, they also ran Hood to Coast. So I decided to join them. No I have never run a marathon, 5 k, or anything like that before. But I have 10 months to get ready!

2. Become a Scriptorian.

I have always loved diving into the scriptures, not just reading them, but really understanding them. The picture above is a page from Isaiah. I am currently reading the entire book of Isaiah, and I LOVE it! Like I said, I'm not just reading it, because lets face it, who would understand Isaiah that way? I have my bible dictionary, an actual dictionary, and a book on Isaiah and Jewish culture. It is AMAZING! My next book, is Revelations. I may not be able to go to school, but I CAN make the scriptures my school.


3. Try New Recipes- Master Cooking

Eric puts in this way- I know how to cook, I just dont. I dont like cooking for 2 people. It sucks! Especially since I don't like leftovers. So I usually cook 3 meals, and then the rest of the week, I just grab some frozen dinner. I do know how to bake. I am the MASTER of baking. My favorite aisle is the baking aisle. But, if I am going to run that Marthon, I need to eat better. You should also know, that I watch the Food Network channel every single day. I feel pretty confident that I can follow their directions and make what they make. I am also accepting recipes from friends. If you have any email them to me!


So those are my 3 Resolutions. I figure if I can focus on the things I CAN do, then 2012 will be a better year, because I will have a Positive Attitude, and accomplishing things that I want to do, and will have time to really focus on them.

The last couple flights I have taken with Eric, they have had to inspect his bag, and not because they found a liquid. What may you ask would Eric carry that would need to get checked out? Well on you way home from Hawaii TSA could NOT figure out what was showing on the screen, they described it to us as a box with little chips or something in it. We thought for a moment, and realized they were talking about our Dominos.

Our flight to Seattle for Christmas, Erics bag had to be inspected again, why? Because he had a bag of Cheese in his carry on.

And finally our flight back to Wisconsin, Erics bag had to be checked again. Why? Because he had golf balls in his carry on.

Reminder to self- Eric packs interesting things in his carry on and will be stopped. Plan extra time. :)

I almost feel bad about not posting. But then I think, does anyone really care about whats going on? For those that do, her is whats going on in Madison.

After my trip home to Seattle, I left like a week later for another mini vacation to Salt Lake. Eric had a trip planned to Portland, and since I was just in Seattle, and a flight there would be expensive,  I found a super cheap flight to Salt Lake. It was FABULOUS! I went and actually worked at my work! Instead of on my couch in my pajamas. I got dressed, went into work, and when I needed someone, i just walked to their office instead of picking up my phone and calling them! It was WONDERFUL!  It did make me realize how much I missed my coworkers. Especially Bryndi. She is such and inspiration to me and she definitely helped fill my bucket while I was there. 

Also while I was in Utah, I got to see my best friend Brittany! I have a handful of friends that no matter how long it has been since we have seen each other, when we do finally get together, its like no time has passed at all. She is one of those friends. We went to lunch and dinner, and talked about everything under the sun. I miss having her just down the street from me.

I also was able to visit Donald (my brother) and Chelsea (my sister in law). Chelsea was gracious enough to let me crash at her house. I enjoyed every minute of it. I did however severly burn my thumb, it blistered, bled, and is still on my thumb. It may be a scar, or battle wound however you want to think of it.

After our trips, Eric and I drove down on Sunday to visit our friends the Cluffs in Nauvoo. I love going to Nauvoo, it has so many stories, and I have new insights every time I go. The Cluffs are also amazing and you can really feel the spirit in their home. Love them to death :)

After that, was THANKSGIVING!! Both families were in Saint George, Utah. It was too short of a weekend. We flew into Vegas and drove to Saint George. Not before we stopped at a McDonalds, and watched the guy behind the counter eat fries from a customers order. Yes we were all in shock!  Thanksgiving was exactly what I needed. I loved the vacation from Madison - I know i have had lots of Vacations away from Madison. There is a reason for that. It was great spending time with both families, and cousins.

Now I am just counting down the minutes until we can go home to Seattle. We will get in Friday night, and I cant wait!

Toria (Andrews Girlfriend), Andrew (My little brother), Alex (Andrew's best friend)

So last Saturday I went home to Seattle. The reason... I wanted to. My parents were supposed to come visit me in Madison, but that trip was postponed due to Grandma moving in with my parents. (Fingers crossed her house sells soon). My flight was a direct flight from Milwaukee to Seattle. Which I am super excited about, cause layovers suck. I have also decided that people with children and old slow people need to sit in the BACK of the plane. They take F-O-R-E-V-E-R to get on and off! And then once finally off the plane, they take the entire hallway! So i couldnt pass them. So after shoving some old people out of my way :) I made it out of the airport, and on my way home. My little brother Andrew had just turned 16, so we went out to celebrate at Maggianos.

Me and My Dad

Sunday was church, and it was super odd not to see all my friends there. I'm used to going home around a holiday, so all the kids that are in college or have graduated college are home visiting. So it was wierd not to see them. It was the primary program, which was absolutly ADORABLE! It was fun to see how big the kids I used to nanny have gotten!

Monday and Tuesday I spent with one of my best friends MICHELLE! I dont have a picture of me and her, but i do have a great picture with me and her two cute kids! I miss them all already :(

Thursday me and my mom went shopping. Didn't really think I would go home and not go shopping did you? We made a small dent in the checkbook at Nordstroms. I must say that one of my favorite purchases were these shoes.

How beautiful are they?! Sadly I had to have them shipped to me, but they will be here Thursday. Just in time for me to show them off at church!
Friday was more shopping and then we went to be best Pizza place in Bellevue... Pagliachis. yumm. Its my favorite :) Saturday my flight out was early. and as i have mentioned in another post, we had to have an emergency landing in Billings, Montana for 8 hours. Upside... I got a free round trip ticket! So i will be able to go back to Washington again soon!

Trips that are coming up:
UTAH November 9-14th!!
Saint George- Thanksgiving!
Seattle- CHRISTMAS!!
Then Cross your fingers that i go on a Cruise with my work in January!!

I clean. OBSESSIVELY. I get super excited about it too, I get excited about how I will spend hours deep cleaning the entire place.

Is that a sickness?