Back in Wisconsin ( i'm in Seattle right now) our condo has no internet. Also my phone doesnt get great service (thanks midwest) So I have spent a lot of time texting Eric. (He has been thrilled... not) I dont understand hashtagging things (Is that 2 words? Should I have just put the pound sign?) As confused about this trend as I am, Eric cant stand it. I'm not sure he sees the humor in it. So while I had no internet I was texting Eric via hash tags- #mylifesuckswithoutinternet #imsobored #isthisgoingtobeforever #my3gsucks you get the picture. Well Eric responds by telling me to stop hashtagging- so i say #sorrynotsorry.

Yes I know that hashtagging doesnt work in texts, but i wont use it on facebook, twitter or instagram. I only use it to bother my husband. Like when we sit on the couch watching tv and he tells me he cant jump very high (in relation to basketball) my loving response? #whitepeopleproblems

Yes I think I am hilarious. I hashtag in normal conversations. Eric just stares at me and says "Really?" to which he gets #sorrynotsorry.

As you can see I have internet now- no one is more excited about this then Eric. I also got the Jumping Johnny out for the baby. He kinda liked it. It swallows him up though! #premieproblems

Maybe I have a problem
One of my Resolutions this year is to read more, especially doctrinal books. Since I am unable to go to Institute and Sunday School has turned into a joke with a baby that wants to be fed, I feel like I my spiritual bucket is not getting filled.

So my first book is "Life Lessons from the Book of Mormon". I found it in my parents library during the holidays, and felt impressed that this should be my first book. I was searching for a book, because while I am feeding the baby I get bored. 40 minutes of breastfeeding throughout the day is a long time, and there are only so many iphone games to keep me occupied (I have mastered all the Flow Bridges levels).

But back to the book. From the moment I opened it I couldn't put it down. I would recommend it to anyone wanting a good easy read doctrinal book. There have been so many different insights and teachings that I can not list all of them here. But I would like to share 2 that have stayed with me.

Overcoming Trials and Weakness
Awhile back, Eric and I were talking about our new little monster Q. I love him with all my heart, but recently I think he is more like Dr. Jekell and Mr. Hyde. He must be held all the time, he wont sleep in his own crib or bassinet and he likes to cry ALL THE TIME. He is my new trial. Who would have thought a baby could be a trial. I thought my trial was going to be getting pregnant and staying pregnant, which it was, but it now is Q.
Elder Henry D. Moyle stated that " We unquestionably knew before we elected to come to this earth the conditions under which we would here exist." Pres. Joseph F. Smith wrote "I believe that our Savior... possess a foreknowledge of all the vicissitudes through which he would have to pass in the mortal tabernacle... If Christ knew before hand, so did we. but it coming here, we forgot all, that our agency might be free indeed, to choose good or evil."  I thought back on all the trials I had in my life, and thought it interesting that i would have known about them before hand! I look at my current trials that I have and now apply these 2 quotes, I knew I would have a difficult baby, I knew I would be living in a State that I dont love, with a Body that breaks on my constantly! These quotes have totally changed how I will face this trial and all others in my life. I knew about them and still chose to come to earth. My favorite quote, and truly the one that has made the most impact on me, concerning my trials is from Neal A. Maxwell "God, who knows our capacity perfectly, placed us here to succeed. No one was foreordained to fail or to be wicked... Let us remember that we were measured before and we were found equal to our tasks; and therefore... when we feel overwhelmed, let us recall with assurance that God will not overprogram us; he will not press upon us more than we can bear." I have always been taught that you will not be given more then you can handle, but I love how Elder Maxwell puts it! How much more strength do I have now?! I can look at my adorable trial and say to myself, "I knew I was going to have a difficult baby, AND I know that I can handle this! I feel as if I have been given a little shot in the arm! Now when a new trial comes my way instead of saying "Why me!?" Or suffering through, I feel like I can now hit it head on, and say to myself, I picked this, and I can beat this, with the Lord on m side I can do anything!

I couldn't help posting this picture- I gave him a mohawk.


Weight:  9.5 lbs (0 percentile)
Length: 22.5 inches (6% percentile)
Clothing Size: Newborn fits best but you are starting to wear 0-3
Nicknames: Q, The Baby, Monster
Food: Milk
Sleep: You now will stay asleep for like 30 minutes if we put you in your crib. You wont fall asleep in your crib, but you now dont scream the minute we put you down!
I Love...: You love smiling and when people smile at you and talk to you. You are trying SO hard to talk and laugh. You also love the whit noise app on mom and dads phones, it is the only way to calm you down when you are screaming and how to get you asleep
I Hate...: Still hate the carseat but if someone will sit back there and talk to you you wont scream the entire time... just some of it.
Trips: Flew to Utah! Mom had to go to Utah to work and daddy had to get back to Madison, so we made our first solo flight. You rode in moms purse. Talk about first class flying
It was funny when...:  when you are half asleep you smile and sort of laugh.
Firsts: Flight to Utah, 2 month shots, 
Other facts: While in Utah you did great and everyone at work loved you, you also rolled over while on your tummy. we were at the hotel in utah so we had to facetime Daddy so he could see.
We were so excited to get away from the 15 inches of snow! This year was Eric's family on year for Christmas. We try the best we can to divide the time we are there evenly between both families since they are only 45 minutes apart. Our flight was delayed leaving Milwaukee and then we sat on the tarmat for 45 minutes once we landed. So we didnt get to Eric's house until 3 am :( After that little hick up we had a great vacation! On Sunday we blessed Eric in my home ward.




Yes he fits inside his stocking :)



We had so much fun in Seattle! The countdown is on until we move there! 6 Months and 2 weeks!
So here is some other fun things about you at 2 month:
Weight:  8 lbs
Length: 20 in.
Clothing Size: NEWBORN!
Nicknames: Q, Squid, Baby
Food: Milk. You are SO much better at eating! We no longer have to supplement you with more milk, which is super nice! Once you are done eating you like to stay up for about an hour before you are ready for another nap.
Sleep: Still only will sleep if you are being held, but at night you will go sometimes 4-5 hours without waking up hungry, which I appreciate. It lets me sleep in! Dad gets up at your 3 am feeding and gives you a bottle which helps me get more sleep so I am a little happier the next day.
I Love...: Being held is still top on your list. You also love looking out the window at the trees. You also love looking at the photos on the wall and at the Piano- I hope this means you are going to be a great pianist. We also started giving you baths when you are fussy and it totally calms you down. You just hang out in the bath and are totally content! 
I Hate...: Your carseat and the car. We haven't figure out why you dont like it, but you dont. Also you dont like being left alone in a room and only can tolerate not being held for about 10 minutes. You jump anytime there is a sharp noise. Like when mom closes the fridge door, or when someone makes a noise with their mouth in front of you. I guess you dont hate it, but it surprises you and you look concerned
Trips: Flew to Seattle for Christmas!
It was funny when...: You have started smiling at us, and following us around, may not be funny, but we love trying to get you to smile. You still look super cute when you cry, because you stick out your lower lip. You have this fake cry that we all laugh at, I'm sure we have a video of it just so we can embarrass you later.
Firsts: First Christmas, First Trip to Seattle, First Blizzard- it snowed 15 inches in Madison!  You were blessed in mom's home ward- more on that later :)
Other facts: You had your first minor fever, it was only 99.8, but it was still sad to see you not feeling well. You met Aunt Chelsea, Aunt Brianna, Aunt Emma and Uncle Donald for the first time with our trip to Seattle. Which you slept the entire time! You seem to be a very thoughtful baby, usually you just look around and take in everything that is going on. You are trying to make noises, you try really hard but nothing other then a little squeak comes out.
When we take you to the mall or out to dinner people are still asking how many days or weeks you are. They are all surprised when I saw 2 months! 

We love you so much! And could spend hours just playing with you- that is as long as you are happy :) 


Can you guess where we will be next fall?!



Big Yawn
I was waiting to post this to get more family pictures from my Uncle, but I know if i dont post it now, I will never post it.

My Dads Family was meeting in St. George for Thanksgiving this year. This side of the family hasn't had a get together in a LONG time. It was going to be interesting for sure. We didn't think we would be going since Q was suppose to be born Monday the 19th. Since he was early my dad took pity on me (I had many tears about spending thanksgiving alone.) So he flew us to St. George. I am SOOO grateful for him! Eric still had to work, since he took some of his paternity leave the week Q was born, so we flew out Wednesday afternoon. I wasn't worried about flying with a newborn, I knew that Q was going to do great- namely because it meant that he was being held the entire time by either me or Eric, and Q is an angel when he is being held. I was worried about breastfeeding in public. The last month I have feed him before we left the house so I didn't worry about covering up, however, with this flight I was going to need to feed him 3 or 4 times outside of my home. I'm not a shy person, so I wasn't worried that people would see more then I wanted them to see. I was worried THEY would see more then they wanted to see, because I hadn't mastered covering up.


Once we got to the Airport I had to feed him, so we found a corner, aparently we made a Grandma uncomfrotable because she had been sitting 15 chairs away and she got up and stood far away until I was done. I almost felt bad. almost. On the plane I gave him a bottle I had pumped so his ears wouldn't pop, but then I feed him on the way down. Luckily the guy that sat on the other side of Eric was talking to the guy across the aisle the entire time, so he didnt get more then he wanted. Getting our luggage and the rental car took FOREVER, so I had to feed him  while Eric waited in line at the Rental place. At this point it was like 8 pm and I just wanted to be in the car on our way to St. George, luckily it was Vegas and so people got a show at the airport before they hit the strip. Lucky them.

We got to St. George and headed to my parents house. My mom was waiting for us outside. She was SUPER excited to see the baby again, and I was super excited to have my night time baby holder back!  We had so much fun while we were there. My mom and Aunt Cyndy did a FABULOUS job on Thanksgiving dinner. My moms homemade rolls were fantastic and totally worth the 10 hours it took to get there.
Erics Grandpa Southwick and his wife Vel live in St. George so we headed over to their house so they could meet the little guy.

On Friday, the girls in the family headed down to Vegas for our Black Friday Shopping. Q tagged along since I had the food. The boys went ATVing. I was excited that Q came because it meant I got to take my new stroller. It has been WAY to cold to use it in Wisconsin, but Vegas was SUPER nice!


Saturday was a chill day, my mom made her famous Cinnamon Rolls! Then Eric and I went Golfing at Sand Hollow with my Uncle Jon and cousin J. We had a lot of fun, and I definitely enjoyed the sunny weather.


Sunday we headed back to Wisconsin. It was super sad. Q didn't do that well on the plane, but thats because we didnt time his feedings as well as we had on the way to Vegas. Oh well, flying home for Christmas will be better. I also bought myself a new computer. Its the 13" MacBook Pro Retina Display. I LOVE it! It is so pretty and SO fast!
I know everyone says this but, I cant believe it has already been a month! It has been a pretty eventful month so that could be why we went so fast.

So here is some other fun things about you at 1 month:
Weight:  6 lb 8 oz. (Still smaller then me when I was born!)
Length: 18 in.
Clothing Size: Preemie size up to 7 pounds
Nicknames: Q, Squid, Baby
Food: Milk- You eat everyone 3 hours. You are pretty demanding too. If you get too hungry you get ravenous and shake your head when we try to feed you. Since you were a Preemie, the doctors told us not to give you a bottle. So we finger feed you. We have you suck on our finger and then we have a cool syringe that we fill with milk. You have gone from needing 3 syringes to only needing 1! Thats because you are breastfeeding better so we dont need to supplement you.
Sleep: You only fall asleep being held, and when we put you down in your bassinet you will wake up pretty soon. You sleep for about 1.5 hours, and then wake up hungry.
I Love...: Being held! You are not happy unless you are being held. If you are not being held you are crying which leads to screaming. It makes is SUPER difficult for me to sleep and work. I think I am going to go out and buy a Moby Wrap though- that way I can hold you and have both of my hands free. Hopefully that will help
I Hate...: Your carseat and the car. Anytime we put you in your carseat you scream, and you are inconsolable. You will cry/scream the entire car ride until we take you out of your seat.
Trips: Flew to St. George for Thanksgiving
It was funny when...: You make the funniest face when you cry. It looks like the Scream Ghost. You put both of your hands by your face and pull down. We feel bad that you are crying, but it is the funniest face so we do laugh at it. We have tried many times to get this as a picture. So far we have come close but are not quite there yet. Hopefully soon.
Firsts: You had your first Halloween- you were a pumpkin. Celebrated your first Thanksgiving, first airplane ride, and first time to Vegas and St. George! 
Other facts: You only smile when you are done eating or falling asleep. You are starting to see Mom and Dad, and can start to follow ups, but we haven't been able to get you to smile AT us. We cant wait for that to happen! You can also hold your head up and push off of us. You have actually been able to do this since you were born. The nurses couldn't believe you could already hold your head up.


The Saturday before we had a baby Eric and I went to South Bend, Indiana for the BYU Football game! The original plan was Eric would just go with a bunch of guys from work, since I would be at exactly 30 days from my due date and our insurance said if anything happened they wouldn't pay for it.  But then I found out that my dad was going to be in Chicago and he was thinking of going to the football game too! That pushed me over the edge, I LOVE going to football games and was already upset that I wasn't going to one so close, and then I found out my dad was going to be so close! So I asked my dad to buy an extra ticket to the game!

We left Friday afternoon, picked up my dad in Chicago and then drove to Michigan City, In. BYU does a fireside at every away game, so we went to that and the headed to MICHIGAN to our hotels.

When we checked in the front desk gal upgraded our room because our floor had a wedding party on it, and she was concerned that they would be too loud and drunk and would keep me from getting a goodnight sleep. SCORE!

So then Saturday we left Michigan and headed back to Indiana to go to the football game! We parked on the Golf course, which is super crazy to anyone that knows how golf courses take care of their grass. Eric was hoping to park on the green, but that was a no go. We then spent the afternoon walking around their campus and just enjoying time together.
Touchdown Jesus

Possibly the largets Tailgate I have ever seen

The start of the game


Gold Dome.

Sadly the game didn't go our way, but it was SO much fun seeing people I haven't seen in a long time. One of which was my oldest friend Domineau. She came all the way from Washington DC to see the game. Also I ran into the old CEO of my company out there as well.  But mostly it was so fun seeing my dad!


I have been thinking about what happened last week a lot. I wanted to make sure I remembered everything because it was one of my most meaningful spiritual experiences I have ever had. Right below going to the Temple for the first time and being told that I was marrying the wrong person. This pregnancy has been a miracle to begin with since my doctors have always told me it would take a miracle to get pregnant and stay pregnant because I don't produce those hormones. So the fact that I made it to 36 weeks is crazy! In order to understand the events of last week I have to tell you some other information. Also- this is a LONG post. Just know you have been warned.

Eric has an out of town trip for work planned from November 2-9th. He will just be in Milwaukee which is about an hour and a half away. He can't cancel the trip, but he is able to leave the trip if I call him and tell him I am in labor. Back in July when Eric was told about the trip I didnt think it would be that bad, and if I felt my contractions were getting closer I would just call him and wait for him to come home so we could go to the hospital. These last 2 weeks however I no longer liked this plan. What did I know about contractions?! I didn't know what they were or what they felt like, and I didn't want to call him and then get to the hospital only to be told what I felt was not contractions, or that I wasn't far enough along to be admitted.

I have been really anxious about this. I have had my visiting teachers, neighbors and friends tell me that I can call them at any point and they will take me to the hospital if I want to find out from the hospital if I truly am in labor before calling Eric. I really appreciate these people, but if I am going to be honest with everyone - I won't call them. I just can't bring myself to call someone so they can take me to the hospital. I don't want to inconvenience anyone, and and if it was really nothing I would feel awful. So I would be sitting at home wondering if I should call Eric or not. Driving myself was not an option since I have been told that driving with contractions is not safe.

SO that along with being exhausted from all my new pregnancy aches- back pain, can't put on my socks cause I can't bend that way, stretch marks, etc. I wanted to have this baby early, but not while Eric was away. I couldn't figure out what to do or what my plan was going to be- and all of you who know me, know I love plans. I always have a plan and at least 3 other plans in case plan 1 doesn't work. So here I was with no plan! I had been praying about finding a plan or the best option but nothing was coming!

Monday was my doctors appointment- and my doctor made the mistake of telling me that if I was to have the baby from Monday on, he would be ok. So I left the appointment with the end in sight! Even though he also told me since I didn't have braxton hicks or any other contractions, it wouldn't be any time soon, and most people with their first actually go over their due date. I still was thinking, yes I could go over, but maybe I can pray for a miracle!

Monday night I started having constant pressure on my chest- like an elephant was sitting on it, and some slight abdominal cramps. I googled it :) and the internet and plenty of forums told me I was having braxton hicks, since they were not close together- I couldn't track them. So I thought- awesome! I at least can know what this feels like, so anything different will be a real contraction. One of my worries was already going away! Tuesday not much changed concerning my braxton hicks, still sporadic and not trackable- except they started to hurt- bad! I thought how do people live the next month like this?!  Wednesday I set my mind to figure out how to induce labor naturally- within reason. I cleaned my house, I went and walked the mall, drank a lot of Diet Coke (it seemed to cause the contractions)

Wednesday night, Eric and I were reading from Helaman. He had just been told by God that because his will was in line with God's, whatever he said would happen to the Nephites would happen. How does your will align with God's? I can accept God's will, that I may want or ask for something that isn't right for me in the grand scheme of things and because I can't see the big picture I don't realize that. But God does, so I understand that I may not get what I want, or I can but not in the time frame I want. So the next dilemma that I had with this idea was that we are told we have to have Faith to move mountains. How do you have both? How do you have enough faith to ask for something that it happens, and yet the ability to make sure that what your asking for is in line with God's will- or accepting God's will on that matter? Eric and I talked about this for awhile- and I told him that I could do one or the other, but I dont know how to do both. So I prayed about it. I told God that I wanted this baby to come when Eric was in town. I didn't want to worry about it while he was on his trip, so if that meant the baby came early or the baby came after the 9th I was ok with that. But I would prefer early. I felt pretty good about my prayer and went to bed.

That night those braxton hicks contractions were a total pain. I kept waking up, and trying to do what I could to get the pain to subside. Around 6 am I decided to take a bath, because that was one of the suggestions online. I also drank a ton of water, and changed my position to try and get them to stop. Nothing was working. It wasn't until 7 am that the thought occured to me that I should track these- to see how far apart they were. I didn't want to do this- I didn't want to start tracking them and then have them stop, like they had the rest of the week. This was really an internal battle I had, but I kept feeling like I needed to track these. So to appease both sides of me, I just calculated it in my head. That way I could justify that I was paying attention, but not in so much detail like the apps do- you know how far apart and how long your contractions are. After doing this for about 20 minutes I realized that my math said these pains were about 6 minutes apart. So I grabbed my phone and started using the app. 20 minutes later- 5 minutes apart, 70 seconds long. I started to panic a little, but again my pride got in the way, and I just kept waiting till they just disappeared on their own. When Eric woke up I didn't even tell him! I didn't want to because I KNEW they would just go away so there was no point in paying attention. It wasn't until Eric took my phone while I was in pain to see what I was doing. He saw right on the screen where it said in the last hour my "contractions" were 5 minutes apart. He got up, grabbed the note on the fridge that said when you are supposed to call the hosptial, and said- " You need to call the hospital" I said, no I don't, they will go away on their own. I'm not concerned about it. It wasn't until 2 more when the average dropped to 3 minutes apart that I finally called the nurse. I just wanted to see if i could go into the doctors to get checked, but she said I needed to get to the hospital. Eric was in the shower and when I walked into the bathroom I started crying. I was SO scared and not prepared! I didn't have a bag packed, and I was worried to get my hopes up! So Eric got out, hurried around the apartment as I told him things to grab, and we headed to the hospital. We got to the hospital around 9:00 and went to Triage. It was taking forever to get checked in and get a bed, and I was in so much pain! They finally hooked me up, and left, so they could get data. Again SO MUCH PAIN, and I was losing patience with the nurses. They just kept leaving. It wasn't until one nurse- Patty, was like I am so sorry everyone keeps leaving you, I won't leave until you are checked in and have more information. She asked if anyone had even checked yet to see if I was dilated. I said no, so she did one. This was at 9:40- she kinda did a little jump and said oh my- you're at a 7! She immediately called the doctor, because I was only 36 weeks, I was put into a high risk situation. Doctor got to me at like 10:15- did a check again and I was at a 9! I started panicking again, because I NEEDED that epidural! I was so worried that I had passed the window to get one. I knew that when my water broke and the pain was worse, I wouldn't be able to handle it. So I started praying again that I could get this Epidural, and not to let my water break until I got it.

After that, everything moved REALLY fast. I got put in the new area of the hospital because they didn't have time to wait for a room on the other side to be cleared. I got another nurse Chantel. They did an ultrasound to make sure the baby was the right away- but when they did the ultrasound he was breach. I thought this was an answer to a prayer! Cause I knew I had to have a C Section with a breach baby! They wouldn't try and twist him because his feet could fall out since I was so far along if my water broke while they were turning him. And I also know with a C Section came an EPIDURAL!  I was so relived. Eric however was not. :) They called the doctor again to find out- he came running, and in that 5 minute window I felt the baby moved and when the looked again he was head down. Everyone else was relieved.... Me- I started panicking again! My nurse said she would call the Pain doctor, and when she got him on the phone, he didn't want to give it to me. He said I was too far along and I wouldn't be able to sit still. My nurse convinced him that I had been really calm through all of my contractions- so he came. I prayed and prayed that he would hurry. My nurse was super impressed and kept asking if I really wanted this, because I was not screaming, or crying or withering in pain that I could make it through the whole thing naturally. I just kept saying I just want the Epidural. Finally at 12:30 I got an Epidural! My miracle happened! In 20 Minutes I had gone from a 7 to 9, but I stayed at a 9 with my water unbroken for 2.5 hours! The doctor and nurses could not believe my water hadn't broken yet, they said that never happens! I knew it was because God was answering my prayers. They let me enjoy my epidural until 2, when I said I stared feeling the pressure and that I was ready to push. They broke my water at 2, and 10 minutes later I was at a 10. The water was the only thing keeping me from being fully dilated. They had me wait til 2:30 to start pushing, wanted my body to do more of the work, and they had to get the room ready. They called the doctor and told him to meander his way over to my room. After 4 pushes, she made me stop, and called the doctor and told him he had to hurry. Meanwhile, my nurse told me I couldn't push! I didn't know how to stop pushing! Doctor hurried into the room and at 2:51 Quentin was born! Eric made the comment that it seemed really fast. The doctor said that it was- then he thought about it for a second and said, actually this was more than fast, it was more like a Sprint. He hadn't seen a first baby happen so fast!

As I said in the beginning of this very long post, this was one of my top spiritual experiences because in 1 day I had 2 prayers answered. I learned that God's will and your will can be the same and you might not even realize it, also sometimes all we need to do is ask. The second was if it matters to you, it matters to God. I needed that Epidural and even though it wasn't a big issue in the grand scheme of things, God made a way so that I could get it. I know that if it hadn't been for him, I wouldn't have the Epidural, and could still be pregnant.

Quentin Eric Dolder
October 25 at 2:51 PM
5 LB 10 oz
18 inches long

My mom was able to change her flight so she got here on Friday, and we stayed at the hospital until Saturday at 1. Since Quentin is considered a Preemie, he had to have a couple of extra tests done, like the Car Seat Test, and blood sugar tests. After we got home, me and mom ran to Target to get all the last minute baby items we hadn't gotten yet because we thought we had until November 19th. We also had to frantically look for Preemie clothes, because he doesn't fit into any of the clothes I have. He is SO small!
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